My time with MPAX was a lot of fun, but I'm happy to find myself in a far warmer climate today. Join me in paradise with Mark Koopman.
Today's snippet involves DeShawn and his mother. Reggie and DeShawn have started dating, as much as middle school students date. She and DeShawn were in his apartment when his mother came home, catching them kissing. They stood quickly and spilled their bowl of popcorn. DeShawn has been sent out to get groceries, leaving Reggie alone with his mother.
Reggie
concentrated on the popcorn, too afraid to look up. The grocery bags
rustled as DeShawn’s mother placed them on the kitchen counter.
Reggie picked up the last few kernels and dropped them in the bowl.
She tried to put the bowl in the kitchen sink, but DeShawn’s mother
stopped her.
“You
need to throw out the popcorn first,” she said.
“Sorry.”
Reggie
picked the bowl back up and poured the contents into the empty
trashcan. A few seeds pinged and ponged against the plastic trashcan,
filling the room with little slapping sounds. Her back tingled under
the woman’s stare. She turned to place the bowl in the sink, but
stopped when she saw his mother sizing her up.
DeShawn’s
mother struck a match, filling the air with a sulfur stench. She
flicked the match into the sink and it sizzled in a small puddle of
water.
“Let
me ask you a question,” she said.
Reggie
clutched the bowl tighter in her arms. “Okay.”
“You
a virgin?” she asked.
Reggie
blinked a few times, trying to focus on DeShawn’s mother. Her mouth
went dry but she managed to mumble, “Yes.”
“Good.
You plan to stay that way with my son?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t like the way she felt, tiny and scared. His mother
seemed to tower over her even though they were almost the same
height. Her heart was racing worse than it had before any fight, but
she knew the woman would not hit her.
DeShawn’s
mother took in a drag from her cigarette, held it for a moment in her
lungs as she ran her eyes up and down Reggie. She opened her mouth
and released the smoke in one ill-smelling cloud. “Good. Don’t
need no new babies in this family. I raised plenty already. You
change your mind, you two better be safe. You understand me?”
Reggie
nodded.
“Good.
Now put that bowl in the sink and get your little ass home. DeShawn’s
got chores to do.”
The
bowl made a funny clink as she lowered it into the sink. For a
second, she was scared the bowl had cracked, but the clinking sound
was louder than the hit was worth. She knew his mother watched her as
she walked out of the apartment. Reggie could feel her disapproval
following her out of the room. She wanted to run, but she forced her
legs to keep an even pace.
She
had spent the night before huddled in her bed, a knife clutched to
her chest as The Apartments raged in its fury. She’d barely slept
and when she had, she’d dreamt someone was trying to open their
door. The last few hours she’d passed staring at the doorknob,
never quite sure if it was turning or not. Somehow, this conversation
was worse.
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This would work better with a lead in. I jigged back and forth, trying to find out what you want. A critique? A compliment? A sale? Hehe. Kudos for exposing more of your novel, which I see is on sale already.
ReplyDeleteSorry, so used to tour I forgot to do a lead in.
DeleteVery cool blog. Interesting posts. ;)
ReplyDeleteNice atmosphere guests with you here on the blog. ;]
Yours. Have a nice day. !
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I'm very concerned about this, please. :)
https://www.facebook.com/pages/In-another-light/413836138693856
Thanks Patrycja. Sorry, don't do much on the facebook.
DeleteI'm looking forward to having this kind of talk when I have kids and they start dating.
ReplyDeleteYou and me both!
Deletevery well done--i would run from that woman!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know it!
ReplyDeleteAnother great scene with such realistic dialogue! Poor Reggie can't have a moment's peace. Julie
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet. Liked the dialog.
ReplyDeleteInteresting! I especially liked the dialogue from the mother; just those few quotations told me a lot about her personality.
ReplyDelete