Sunday, March 25, 2012

What I Saw at The Reason Rally

Me at the Reason Rally before Hell broke loose
First off, I'm lucky I lived. I didn't expect to. I showed up in the morning while lazy atheists, not used to moving around in daylight hours, yawned their way through pre-rally videos. Some had clever posters, some had clever t-shirts, and many wore rain gear. Apparently, atheists melt in water. It looked like a normal gathering of sane (if apathetic) individuals. There was a stage, a jumbotron of sorts and speakers. There were even tents and port-o-potties. You know, the norm. But then, the speeches began and all Hell broke loose.

It turns out the secular world is stirred into a frenzy by ideas. It started with clapping and cheering. It ended in a bloodbath. After Greta Christina's litany of anger, a mosh pit broke out.  Angry atheists headbutted each other into oblivion.  Beer bottles and tea pots were hurled towards the stage shattering all over Tim Minchin. His feet were cut up worse than Bruce Willis' in Die Hard. It's a sad sight to see a grown man hobble off stage wearing make-up.  Effigies of the pope were burned.  Animals were sacrificed and their mutilated bodies set on fire.  Apparently all the violence was a turn on because an orgy sporadically started. Clothes were shed and atheists groped at their nearest neighbors whether male, female, awake or asleep. Everywhere I looked were naked people kissing and punching. There wasn't enough rain to wash away all the blood and bodily fluids. And worst of all, I saw Richard Dawkins bite the head off a baby.

Or, the above is a complete lie. What really happened was a bunch of mild mannered people gathered together to just say "Hello world. We exist." A lot of great speakers gave speeches that resonated with the audience - preaching to the choir so to speak. There were lots of laughs, some terrific music, and Tim Minchin was not hurt (and he looks good in make-up to boot!) It was a group of like-minded people more or less agreeing with each other and telling the government we have a voice. We were not debating one issue or making any demands. We certainly weren't hoping to convert passers by. We just wanted to say hello and that we're here to stay.    :)
The speck on stage is Richard Dawkins, not eating a baby


  1. Libby, don't scare me like that - I was really concerned about Tim Minchin!

  2. I loved you post. The funny part is, many people would believe the first paragraph probable! You had me cracking up. :)

  3. @C. - Tim is amazing. I hope he does a tour in the US. I would absolutely buy tix!

    @Colleen - Thank you! And yes, some may think that first paragraph is accurate journalism. :) I will see you on Wednesday!

  4. I searched some photos of the rally, and some of them were pretty clever. I started cracking up when some guy was dressed like Jesus riding a raptor.

  5. Amen, sister. ;) At first, I was a bit worried, wondering if you'd been a closet crazy all along, but then I finally figured out you were just being clever. Well played, my friend. Well played. Cheers to the thinking people.

  6. lol I liked your exaggerated report of events. Great photo of you, Libby. Sounds like a great event. Baby eating or no. :)



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