Monday, October 24, 2011

I Have Finally Become A Woman

It may surprise no one here to learn that I was a tomboy.  How much of a tomboy?  Well, when I was 8 and played little league baseball (not softball), I surpassed all my boy teammates in machismo by using three bats at once for my warm up swings while on deck.  I also had short spiky hair and was fond of dressing like my brothers.  So do not take it lightly when I say I am now a woman.

What has made me, at the age of 33, feel as if I have broken through the barrier and become a fully fledged adult female?  Excellent question.  I enjoy conversing with a perceptive audience.  It did not happen when I wore my first dress, shaved my legs for the first time (which is where I'm certain they got the title for "There Will Be Blood"), nor did it occur when I finally plucked my unibrow.  Make-up?  No.  Growing my hair out so I would no longer be called sir?  No.  My wedding day?  Not on  your life.  So what did cause this bold pronouncement?

Saturday night, in a very atypical response to stress, I watched TV and ate ice cream directly from the carton.  As I sat there, wishing I had some cheesecake to munch on so that I might be more like my heroes The Golden Girls, I basked in the glory of my own femininity.  Picture it, me in sweats, legs unshaved, curled up on the couch watching Season 3 of Parks and Recreation - a cardboard tub of Vanilla bean ice cream resting on my belly.  It...was...beautiful.  The only thing that kept it from being the epitome of a womanly evening was that I was watching a comedy.  I cannot watch romantic movies.  There is too much of the tomboy left in me.  However, I do cry at commercials and at most touching moments in comedy.  It's an area of shame, but one I'm apparently comfortable sharing with the entire world, aka, the five people that read my blog.

I understand that I have just grossly stereotyped all women everywhere, but I feel okay about it.  I still wish I had some cheesecake and a lanai and three female friends I lived with to complete the moment, but no moment in life is truly perfect.  In case you're wondering, yes, I would be the Bea Arthur of the group.   Just call me Dorothy...

13 comments:

  1. I cry when that sports team wins the big game and they're hugging eachother and their wives and kids. Gets me every time.

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  2. my fav was Rose :)

    Didn't know we were the same generation!

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  3. For me it's a tub of ice cream and a marathon of Friends! Hah hah hah! Great post!

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  4. Oh wow, Dorothy should be the patron saint of sarcastic pissed-off women everywhere! She was awesome. Actually, they were all pretty awesome.

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  5. I constantly watch TV, in my sweats, while eating ice cream and crying. That's reserved for women only...?

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  6. Some of those commercials are real tear jerkers. There ought to be a law against manipulating our tender emotions that way. Don't they know hormonal women hyped on sweets are watching? :P

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  7. I cant say I've ever really done this...I've done parts, but never the trifecta of sweats, ice cream out of the carton AND tv...guess that means I am not a woman yet.

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  8. I was watching season 3 of Parks & Rec Saturday night, too. But no ice cream. Guess I'm not a real woman.

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  9. I think I might be the only person to cry during "The Walking Dead." Flesh eating zombies? Bring on the water works!

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  10. I love the Golden Girls! As a kid I would watch the show and think of how cool it would be to hang out with cool old ladys, then in my early twentys I started dating a woman 20 years older then me! We've been going out for seven years (and living together for the past five years) and its great! Old ladys rule! (although I prefer Betty White to Bea Arthur, Dorthys additute was always the best! Strong women are great!)

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  11. I love Golden Girls. I think that's why Betty White is one of my favorite actors; she's still full of life and energy. And I liked that the show was about friendship above all else.
    I was never a tomboy though. My first instinct in any sport is to run away from the ball.

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  12. I just admire that you can write so freely about your life.

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  13. Thanks guys! Glad you could enjoy my icecream infused evening. :)

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