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| gustavorezende Openclipart.org |
I woke up Sunday morning to find an email from a screenplay contest I entered letting me know that the list of winners was posted and that I was not one of them. I had a brief moment of pain, then closed the email. I submit a lot so, in turn, I receive a lot of rejections. There was nothing out of the ordinary about this one at all. My reactions to rejections used to be fairly heinous. I used to swear never to write again or go for a whole day being depressed whenever I received one. Now, I'm so used to it that I have about a minute of horrible crushing agony, then I shrug it off and move on.
This one stayed with me for an hour or so. It wasn't that I cared about the contest that much, though admittedly, I would have cared about it greatly if I had won. If I'd won, it would have been the most important contest ever, period. The reason I felt bad for a full hour instead of just a moment was that after closing the email, I opened the file for the screenplay and saw that I had done nine drafts, six plot outlines and character journals. I also had this screenplay critiqued by fellow writers and even paid for a critique - which I will never do again. My point is, I worked hard on the story and tried to make it something different and interesting and a movie I would like to watch.
I want to make this clear, I'm not trying to whine. Every writer knows that he/she will be rejected. If you do any research in this area then you know that most writers get rejected a lot, even the most famous most talented and best selling authors get rejected. This is, unfortunately for our egos and our wallets, the life we chose.
Even though it's embarrassing, I have to admit I sulked. All that hard work and just to get rejected. I thought about giving up writing. I laid in bed and tried to will myself to cry but I'm really adverse to tears so that didn't happen. In short, I acted like a spoiled child. At least my husband was still asleep so there were no witnesses to my childish behavior. Well, I guess except for those reading this blog. It can be our secret.
I'm not as good at sulking as I used to be. After about forty minutes, I got bored. To get myself back on track, I lay in bed with my face to the window and thought about all the good things going on right now both in life and writing. I am getting a short story published by the new literary website/anthology Mixer Publishing - my piece will be out in August. I just polished up a play. I've been a semi-finalist recently for a few contests. My career isn't taking off like a rocket but I'm making some slow and steady progress. I'm gearing up to self-publish a novel. I've already got my next few projects planned out a bit. Life, in general, is going pretty well.
After five minutes of these more positive and balanced thoughts, I felt fine. I have to do this little mental reboot on occasion. During bad weeks, I may have to do it daily. It's a technique I discovered in college. Negative breeds negative. Positive thoughts make me calmer and happier and far more productive.
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| gustavorezende Openclipart.og |
Anyone else have techniques they use to get through life's little hiccups?
Sounds like you have more ups than downs in your life, and that's about as much as you can ask for. And a good, quick sulk can be very cleansing - better out than in.
ReplyDeletemood
I think it's totally ok to let yourself be disappointed. When I get a rejection, I usually find another place to submit the work to and send it out the same day. Or I start revising another work to send out.
ReplyDeleteI also do the Stephen King trick—I put all my rejection letters on the wall, held up by a tack. Looking at them takes the sting out a bit. I know, I don't understand the logic behind it either.
I know the very feeling you are talking about Libby, and with certain stories, rejected from certain markets, I still get that feeling today. But you explained why it was all worthwhile, all those drafts and plot summaries and character journals: you may not have won the contest but you likely got something far more valuable:
ReplyDeletePractice.
It's funny how many new writers think there is some secret handshake or some trade secret for getting your stuff published, when in fact all it really is a combination of practice, patience and persistence. Think of all of the people in the same situation as you who decided to GIVE UP after being notified they didn't win the contest.
That's why every time I get a rejection slip (and I've received plenty) I try to send the story back out on the same day that I receive the rejection. (A lot easier now than it used to be what with most markets I submit to taking electronic submission.)
Rejections still hurt, sure, but learning how to harness that hurt into something productive is key.
I haven't figured out how to process rejection yet without it touching my self-esteem. Ack! That sounds awful, but it's true. Heh, I've got a rejection post planned soon too. It must be going around. :)
ReplyDeleteI like what I'm hearing. I'm the same way. When I get rejected, I send the piece out again the same day, usually with a bit of revision. I didn't do that with the screenplay only because of the expense of contests. I think I have it in 5 total, so there's still 3 to go!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments guys!
Sucks to the contest. Congrats on the short story. Keep your chin up and carry on. If all else fails, find a nice looking editor to stalk until they either publish you or file for a restraining order. Either way, your name in print...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the contest. It's only natural that you felt disappointed, because you invested a lot of time and effort into your submission. I hope that you win the next one (and the next one, and the next one).
ReplyDeleteI went on a couple job interviews recently in hopes of escaping my summer retail job; I didn't get hired by the other employers. It was disappointing, to say the least, because it means I'm stuck with a job that I dislike. But on the other hand, at least I can quit the job by the end of the summer. And it definitely helps me think about what I want/don't want out of a job, so that I never take the first job that's offered without thinking about it carefully again.
I just had a story returned as the publisher is calling it quits. One that had a 'go'. :-( Then there are the usual rejections. I can empathize. I, too, concetrate on the golden nuggets. Anyway, you're not alone. Far from it.
ReplyDeleteThe road to authordom and screenplaydom is frought with R. Lots and lots of R. It thickens our skin for when the reviews start. Our work is constantly judged. So, yeah, we have to get used it.
Yay for you for learning to deal with it. If you lived closer, I'd take you out for a drink or an ice cream or something. :)
Gin.
ReplyDeleteThe other day, someone replied to a fanfiction I wrote for a prompt in a group that isn't very active, and their icon they used was more than enough reply.
ReplyDeleteIt was a guy in black and white clapping that bravo sort of clap.
I got three replies on that fic, but they ran along the same vein, and it was exactly the reply I wanted. I had hit gold. I had gotten the message out that I wanted.
It made me feel great.
I hope that when I get my next rejection I can grab that feeling by the nads and hold on to it.
Because its for moments like that I write.