Flash Fiction Friday!

Love Notes

Cale,

Please quit staring at me.  It's just a pimple.  You act like you've never seen a pimple before.  Jesus.

Betty,

I've seen pimples before but not like that one.  It's like Mt. Vesuvius ready to erupt.   I feel like a citizen of Pompeii over here.   Just kidding.  LOL.   I didn't even notice it.  Also, I wasn't staring at you, I just glanced in your direction.  That's pretty narcissistic of you though.

Cale,

What a douchey thing to say.  Who uses big words like that?  And yes, you were staring at me.  Ten seconds straight is not a glance, it's a stare.   Ask anyone.

Betty,

Douchey is not technically a word, but I'll let it slide.  You counted?  Who counts the seconds someone looks at you?  Did you say “One-two-three” or “One Mississippi- Two Mississippi” because “one-two-three” would be way too fast.   So, probably I glanced over for three seconds but you gave it a super quick ninja count and now I'm a gawker.

Cale,

Douchey is completely acceptable when one is being a douche.   Ask Mrs. Klein if you don't believe me.  And yes, I used the “One-Mississippi” technique.   I played hide-and-seek when I was a kid.   I know the counting rules.   If you keep staring at me I will have my brother beat you up.

Betty,

Your brother is three years younger than me and has a gimp arm.   Are you trying to get his ass kicked? Also, I'll gawk where I please.  And I choose to gawk at you.  I was trying to work up the courage to ask you out.  I did see that raging zit on your face and I was willing to look past Mt. Acne but I don't know if I can look past your gigantic ego.   Sorry I was “gawking” at you, but you don't have to sic your little gimpy brother on me and make me beat him up so everyone thinks I'm the asshole of the year.

Cale,

You are the asshole of the year.  How dare you bring up Roger's arm?  He was born that way.   It's called a deformity, like your personality.  Ewww, like I'd go out with you ever.  Deformed person hater.

Betty,

Pointing out that someone has a deformity doesn't mean you hate them for it, it just means that you have eyes.   And why wouldn't you go out with me?  What is this “Ewww” business?  I'm not “ewww”.  I'm awesome.  I'm super awesome and way too awesome to date a zit faced narcissist like you.

Betty,

I didn't know Mr. Rasczak was right behind us.  Sorry.  I also didn't know he was going to read that note aloud in class.  I'm sorry everyone laughed when I called you a zit faced narcissist.   I didn't mean it.   I just can't believe you called me “Ewww”.  I think you're pretty.   I've always thought you were pretty and never “Ewww.”  What the hell is “Ewww” about me?

Cale,

Me and my zit will get through it.  We've bonded over this class period.   I'm going to call him Harold. We're best friends.  Okay, I shouldn't have said “Ewww” but I was pissed off about Roger.  He's a good kid and if he had two good arms he would've fought you.   Poor kid.  He can't get into proper fights because of that arm.  You think I'm pretty?   Really?

Betty,
Of course I think you're pretty.   I wouldn't be staring at you if I didn't.   I know that Roger's arm is a sore subject.   I tell you what, if you want us to fight, I can tie an arm behind my back so we'll be even. I won't sleep the night before so my reaction time will be slower and that should make up for the age difference.

Cale,

That would make Roger so happy!  We have boxing gloves at home.  I could make a little ring in the back yard and officiate.  I'll make us lunch.  It could be our first date.  This Saturday?

Betty,

You mean it?   It would be a date?  Of course.   Of course we can do it this Saturday.

Cale,
Yay!   I'll tell Roger.  I'll make us something very nice for lunch, something manly for after the fight. Do you like ribs?

Betty,

I love ribs!  Can you wear that yellow dress you wore last week?   That would be most excellent.  Also, should I throw the fight?  I can do that.  I don't mind losing to a guy with one arm if it makes you happy.

Cale,
No, better fight as hard as you can.  Roger doesn't like charity.  And yes, yellow dress it is.  Bell's about to ring.  See you sixth period?

Betty,

Yes. Of course.  Want to walk to class together?

Cale,

I'd love to.

Betty,

Me too.

Cale,

See you then.

Betty,

Harold and I look forward to it.  Kisses!