The Start of My ACX Experience

I've decided to try my hand at the indie audiobook.  I have registered Tough Girl at ACX and am waiting to hear from possible producers.  I have no idea how this will go.  The maximum I'm offering to pay is $620 for the book to be recorded.  It's a lot to me but who knows if it is enough for your average producer.  Also, once I pay it, have the recorded version (if all goes well) and put it up for sale, it may only have one buyer - me.  But that's okay, right now it's more about the experience then the result.  From day one, I've looked at self-publishing Tough Girl as a financial loss.  I've spent more on producing small films, so really, it hasn't been that bad for me.

I'm hoping to do a bit of a log on the process.  Now, this log may only be two entries - this one and the one that says, "No producers contacted me."  I have no problem with writing that post.   If you're going to fail, then fail big dammit!

Rocking out to Tough Girl.  Image by hrum

I also wanted to thank you all for your kind words.  It meant a lot to have people in my corner after Mom passed.  It's been a rough few weeks but time is marching on and I am trying to do the same.  I'm not saying I'm done crying, I'm just saying I can see a day when I can think of Mom and not cry.

For My Mother

In the early hours of April 18, my mother's brief but intense battle with cancer came to an end.  On that day I lost my mom, my best friend, and my number one fan.  Nobody got as excited for me as she did.  No one cheered more, smiled brighter, or felt more pride over my minor achievements. 

I have spent the past week living in memories.  When I was four years old, I pounded on a window until it broke.   Mom and Dad rushed in and I thought they would be angry with me for breaking the window, but all they cared about was making sure I hadn't cut myself.  Right around the same age, I burned my hand on the stove.  Mom and Dad stayed up with me all night, each one taking turns holding the bowl of ice that cooled my skin.  I remember my parents lifting me up by the hands as we stepped onto curbs, making me believe that at five years old I could fly.  I remember Mom comforting me when a friend's mother died in high school, how she wiped away my tears and held me tight.  My feet were operated on when I was in college and Mom was the one who cleaned my wounds and changed my bandages.  She drove me to games, to college, to my first day of kindergarten.  We washed dishes together when I was a little girl and ran errands together when I became an adult.

I called Mom once a week or so.  She was fun to chat with and she always took my side, even when I was wrong.  What she lacked in objectivity, she made up for in passion.  I don't know if I ever understood how close we had become until she was gone.  I had no idea that over the years Mom had gone from being my caregiver to being my best friend.

Rita Rose Sullivan was 61 years old when she died.  She was diagnosed with aggressive small cell cancer only three weeks before she passed.  I never expected my mother to die so young.  I always thought she would live with me one day.  I had visions of dropping mom off at the seniors center to play with her friends like she used to drop me off at school.  I thought we'd take an art class together and I could watch jealously as my mother painted a beautiful picture while I rendered something akin to a grade school art project.  I even planned to write something happy one day so I could dedicate it to Mom.

I will miss Mom for the rest of my life.  All I can do now is make the most of my days and live as long and as well as I can for her.  She fought so hard to stay with her family, fighting against the odds to live even for those three short weeks.  I have never been more impressed with anyone as I was with my mother's tenacity, strength, and love.  In those three weeks, mom went from being my best friend, to being my inspiration.

I love you Mom, and always will.

This World Can Be a Messed Up Place

The Boston Marathon explosions were a tragedy, and somehow not as shocking as they should have been.  It seems like more and more people want to express their thoughts and opinions through the medium of violence.  I, like most people, can not quite wrap my head around this tendency to maim and murder.  We are not lacking for soap boxes or forms of expression.  I'm a barely known writer and I have a blog, a twitter account, and a youtube channel.  Why shoot, bomb, stab or throw acid when you can share your feelings and view points in an open and direct manner?

Humanity has a tendency towards violence, I get it.  Sick, terrible things have happened throughout history.  The intentions are the same, only the weaponry has changed.   I'm not saying today's society or today's humans are any more prone to violence than our ancestors.  I'm just saying I have no idea why there are so many people who can and will hurt others.

I'm not looking for answers right now.  I expect we'll find some genetic, behavioral, or chemical explanation one day.  For now, all I can do is shake my head and wonder. 

Let's try to take care of each other as best we can.  At the moment, that seems to be all we can do.

I Can't Stop Reading

So, I'm SUPPOSED to be working on my new novel, Bizarlington, and plotting out the Grape Merryweather stories.  I know that.  Writing is on my to do list so it's a real thing.  But I haven't made as much progress as I would have liked.  Why?  Come on, you saw the title of this post. 

It's not my fault.  Well, it is 100% my fault but it's difficult to feel guilty when I'm reading such treasures.  DAMN there are some good books out there.  I just finished A Storm of Swords by George RR Martin, I'm half way through Breakfast of Champions by Vonnegut and even though I think Rochester is at least a partial douche, I'm nearing the end of Jane Eyre.  And then it will be on to The Andromeda Strain, the third book in the Dune series, Aberration by Lisa L Regan and many many other novels.

UGH, there are not enough years in a lifetime to read all the books I want to read.  My lovely little paperbacks, my digital bits of goodness downloaded to my kindle, my narrated audio beauties.  How am I supposed to write when I'm so busy enjoying other people's writing?  I'll have to pull on my big girl pants soon and take a break from these delicious tales, but not tonight.  Back to the books once more!!!!!!

Moini

500 Words a Day

Thankfully, That Day passed.  I can't say the Banner Day found its way into my life, but things are looking up.  I'm finally getting over my post-travel illness.  Mostly just tired at this point but I have high hopes that I'll be back to my old self by mid-week.  Whoo hoo!  7 AM work outs!

Also, in the good news column of life, I was able to hammer out a writing time.  I read a post by Jamie Todd Rubin where he says he writes at night just before his kids go to sleep (also known as cartoon time in many households).  His goal is 500 words a day.  I figured, "I can do 500 words a day, no problem".  Reading about how someone else is so dedicated that they write during the few moments of privacy they have a day made me feel lame.  So, you know, I decided to suck it up.  So far, so good.  500 words a day is definitely happening. Bizarlington is already 2000 words long and growing.

Here are some other fun things to check out while you're waiting for my next masterpiece (screw it, I'm just going to refer to every novel this way because, why not?).

House of Cards on Netflix.  Honesty time, I adored Kevin Spacey in college.  It wasn't so much a crush as an "Oh my God I want to be you!!!!" kind of thing.  I watched every movie he acted in.  I went to New York to see him do theatre.  I hung his pictures everywhere.  I taped his SNL show and watched it over and over and over again and made everyone in my theatre department watch it.  And, Kevin Spacey is not even the reason I'm going to recommend you watch this show.  House of Cards terribly well written.  The story is compelling.  The characters are delightfully devious and complex.  I hate them and love them all at the same time.  And, this show makes me worry that our government really behaves in this manner.  Seriously, this could be labeled as a horror movie (series) and I would not disagree.  Oh, and, Kevin Spacey is pretty kick-ass, as is every other actor in this show.  SQUEE!!!



A Song of Ice and Fire Series by George RR Martin.  I'm on book 3.  I was sick and really tired yesterday.  I had slept 12 hours the night before.  I still stayed up until 1 am reading this book.  UGH.  I LOVE IT.  The books are better than the show, and I love the show.  I don't even read fantasy, not really, but my goodness.  The world builing, the dialogue, the language, the plot, the intrigue.  It's fantastic.

Today is That Day

I'm home sick from work today.  The hubby and I went on a quick vacation to Punta Cana and had a marvelous time.  I picked something up on the plane on the way back.  No big deal.  I'll spend the day in my jammies drinking too much hot tea and reading.  Tomorrow, I'll be back at work. 

However, today is becoming That Day, at least in terms of this blog.  I just spent 30 minutes writing a post that I then deleted.  I couldn't get the ideas to form correctly.  In retrospect, I don't think I thought out the post very well ahead of time.  I wanted to talk about taking risks with your writing and why it was completely worth it, but my arguments were not compelling.

My hope is that That Day stays relegated to this blog alone.  The last time I had a real life That Day, I gave up and watched TV all day.  You know That Day.  It's the day that no matter what you do, you do it wrong.  If you go for a run, you can only make it one block before you're huffing and puffing.  If you go to clean a room, you make it dirtier by spilling cleaning chemicals everywhere.  If you make lunch, you somehow manage to burn the soup. 

That Day has killed people.  That Day has ruined marriages, sent men to prison, and caused a war or two.  That Day should be banned.   That Day should be made corporeal so that we might burn it in effigy.  That Day sucks.

I will post again soon, when That Day has passed and, hopefully, Banner Day has begun.

What What?

Just a quick little post to say I will see you guys very very soon.  The work on Bizarlington has begun.  It's promising to be weirder and more difficult than I thought, just what I like.  Also, still plotting out Grape Merriweather.  We shall see what she grows to be.

What about you crazy kids?  Anything fun?